


Absolution

by emothy



Category: Kamen Rider Gaim
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 22:12:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1138004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emothy/pseuds/emothy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>"I want to help you, niisan," Micchi says, stepping closer to his brother. "Like you've always helped me. I've been ditching my studies, throwing away my future to dance and play a game and I'm risking everything. What if everything you've done for me all goes to waste? You have to stop it from happening, for my own good."</i> </p>
<p>(Set between eps 12 and 13.)</p>
<p><b>Content notes:</b> incest, underage character (age difference), powerplay, penance/punishment, caning, reference to physical abuse in childhood, reference to a character being filmed/watched during a sexual encounter without their knowledge or consent.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Absolution

_I've felt power of my own for the first time in my life, only to discover I'm being used as a guinea pig to trial the capabilities of the Sengoku Driver. I don't regret the experience, to know what it feels like to be in control of my destiny, but I swear to expose Yggdrasill's plot. I want to reclaim my own power for myself... Using any means necessary._

-

 

Niisan. Micchi had heard it for himself, his own family name being spoken in a voice that was suddenly all-too-familiar, making him curse himself for not believing his own theory before. He had told himself the assumption that the driver had been his brother's was too hasty, that Takatora could have simply been transporting it for someone, or taking it to the company for inspection after all the trouble the Inves games were suddenly causing. He'd almost convinced himself that Yggdrasill had had nothing to do with this at all. He couldn't have been more wrong. 

There's a part of him now, though, that still admires his brother. And more. Takatora has never let Micchi forget for even a moment that his future lies with Yggdrasill, just like his niisan's does. So, that they are capable of this...

Does Takatora truly believe Micchi is capable of such a thing? It should horrify him, to think his brother cares so little for people, and thinks the same is true of Micchi. But the other thing is... _Does niisan see it?_ That darker, ruthless, threatening streak within him that he's only ever used thus far to coerce Sid the lock-dealer to give him what he wants? Does his niisan see that potential in Micchi to become truly formidable? Does he want Micchi to be more than just a 'yes-man'? To be relegated to such a thing would reflect badly on the Kureshima name, after all, but Micchi had always assumed that was all he was ever destined to be.

"You're late again," Takatora says, looming right beside the door when Micchi walks in. Once upon a time, Micchi used to apologize for it. Then he simply started acknowledging it with a curt agreement: 'yes, I am.'

This time he's tired and angry from arguing with Kouta all day long. Kouta refuses to accept that he's being used, watched, that every time he transforms he plays right into Yggdrasill's hands. Micchi is honestly a little scared that this time their views on the situation are so different that they'll never recover from it. What if they have to stop being friends? What if the Sengoku Driver that was supposed to be power and control delivered into his own hands simply takes away everything he loves instead? 

"I'm starting to think you're getting as irresponsible as those ridiculous Beat Rider kids," Takatora continues. He sounds so inconvenienced. But what is inconvenience compared to what Micchi is going through right now?

He could bite his tongue, but he doesn't.

"It's because I'm one of them," he says, and he has no idea if he's found the right tone between flippant joking and deadly seriousness, because he means it, and he's been used by the very company his brother is a part of, and it would be so good for his niisan to know the truth about that. It would be safer, though, if he didn't believe it. 

Takatora's eyes narrow; he clearly doesn't know whether or not to take it as a joke either. Micchi has left it a beat too many before replying with his usual, "I'm kidding!" Then his eyes take on a fearsome dark shadow. Micchi's heart squeezes in his chest, as though the organ is trying to cause his collapse before his own brother can unleash his wrath upon him. It would be a more merciful end.

"I mean, I could be," Micchi backtracks, careful to keep his words even and betray nothing, looking directly at Takatora as he speaks. "If you wanted." He lowers his gaze coyly; that look always works on niisan, mostly because Micchi has never used it to try and get anything truly important. Being his brother's right-hand man involves being his in _every sense_ of the words. Micchi loves it; he loves his brother, and Takatora is a passionate soul. He never touches Micchi without a kind of reverence, always tells him he's special and capable of great things. It's just another one of those secrets Micchi has to carry around in order to truly be himself, but only show certain aspects of it to certain people at certain times. 

"What are you talking about, Mitsuzane?" 

"It's just..." Micchi slips his schoolbag from his shoulder and discards it on the floor. "Niisan, you're always working so hard, I understand why those people being so carefree and not taking their futures seriously frustrates you. And then they cause so much trouble in the city. You always tell me how hard Yggdrasill works to make Zawame City run smoothly. You must be angry right now."

Takatora rarely shows anger; if he does, it is in short, sharp bursts. Like a snapping retort followed by recovering his composure and walking away. What Micchi truly fears is that cold rage of his that takes a long, long time to build. He would rather shock his brother suddenly. He has things like that to worry about; like his brother discovering he's been a Beat Rider for a long time, that he controls a Sengoku Driver, that they almost fought a real battle against one another and that Micchi even knew it was Takatora at the time. He carries so much guilt, it might be nice to give into it this once. 

"It's understandable if you want to punish someone," Micchi continues. "You wouldn't be doing that sort of thing personally. I... I could've been one of those kids, if I hadn't been so lucky to be born into the Kureshima family. I know it would be for my own good."

"Mitsuzane, I don't understand what you're asking," Takatora says, but his voice isn't as level as it usually is. "I don't think _you_ understand what you're asking."

"I want to help you, niisan," Micchi says, stepping closer to his brother. "Like you've always helped me. I've been ditching my studies, throwing away my future to dance and play a game and I'm risking everything. What if everything you've done for me all goes to waste? You have to stop it from happening, for my own good."

He knows Takatora's convinced when his niisan's hand strays into his pocket and the beep of his cell phone being turned off sounds out from within. 

"You can't be a child forever, Mitsuzane," Takatora says, placing a heavy hand on Micchi's shoulder. "The world around you won't stop what it's doing to allow you to do what you want. If you're to survive you must open your eyes and see the future in front of you. Come with me."

Takatora pushes Micchi ahead of him, the hand on his shoulder returning to guide him up the stairs and towards his niisan's bedroom firmly. Takatora gestures to him to sit on the edge of the bed, and then puts his hands into his pockets, looking for all intents and purposes as though he's about to have a casual conversation. That's how he keeps control.

This is Micchi's game, though. His brother might not realise it, but he doesn't know the truth. 

"What's this I hear about you throwing your education away?" Takatora asks. His words are punctuated with a lift of the chin and his eyes penetrating Micchi's. He hadn't expected things to progress so fast; he doesn't have to feign the way he trembles where he sits. He stuffs his hands down between his thighs to stop them shaking. "You're wasting your time on a game? On dancing? What good will that do you? What benefit will that bring to others? What greater good are you providing to society in doing so, Mitsuzane?" 

"I'm making people happy," Micchi says desperately, "my friends-"

"Friends?" Takatora snorts. "Those street trash aren't friends. They're worthless. They'll use you and throw you away as soon as they're done with you. They have no loyalty to anyone but themselves. They haven't been taught values. You have; you should know better."

"You're right," Micchi says, lowering his head. "Niisan, I'm sorry. I've betrayed everything you've done for me."

"It's good to hear you apologize," Takatora says, walking towards the bed. "It means you understand that what you've done is wrong. But I also need you to understand," Takatora says, cupping Micchi's chin in his hand. Micchi leans into the touch even though he shouldn't; right now he should be scared, wary. "...This behaviour can't go unpunished."

"I know."

Micchi looks his brother in the eyes, focusing somewhere far beyond them. This is the look that sometimes comes over him when he needs to shut people out. Blank faced, hollowed thoughts. He can't show relief. He isn't supposed to want this _this much_. It's not as though allowing his brother to punish him for actions Takatora doesn't even believe him guilty of will absolve him. They will still be real, and nothing will be solved. Yggdrasill will still have their plots. 

But it's late right now and Micchi will have to set that aside for another day. 

Takatora gently eases him back on the bed, leaning over him with those dark eyes that hold so much suppressed anger in them, a bottomless pit. It won't truly be eased unless Micchi can provoke him properly, not like this. He has given in to his brother too easily, because it was too tempting to be able to tell the truth. 

"I just-!" Micchi has to force the words out, tears threatening to prick at the corners of his eyes, "I just wanted to belong! I wanted to be a part of something. I wanted to feel like I mattered." _Like I had control of my own destiny_. He can't say that; it's something his brother can't give him. 

"Mitsuzane."

Sometimes his brother truly does sound grieved by the things Micchi says. As though it hadn't occurred to him that Micchi could feel any way about things other than the way Takatora himself does. He recovers himself quickly though, parting Micchi's blazer fully from his torso and unbuttoning the shirt beneath it with quick, impatient motions, as though the buttons exist purely to get in his way. 

"You do belong," he says, sliding a hand beneath Micchi's shirt to caress the skin below his collarbone. "And you do matter. You matter to me; you're everything to me." Takatora leans down, pressing a kiss to Micchi's chest, over his heart. Micchi wonders if his niisan hears it flutter. "You believe me, don't you?"

"You believe _me_ , don't you?" Micchi retorts. "Even if I believed I mattered to you, that I meant everything, I..." It's hard to get the words out, but Micchi perseveres. "I obviously don't feel the same way about you. I went looking for something else, something more. I hit the streets to find something and someone who meant everything to me."

"Mitsuzane, if you're trying to anger me-"

"Niisan, _please_!" He doesn't bother trying to hold back the stray tears this time. "Punish me, show me you love me. Convince me you're all I need." He's unsure where it comes from, but there is a part of him inside that insists that if Takatora can just convince him _enough_ that maybe Micchi can just forget it all. Yggdrasill: not so bad, not wrong at all. He can just do the thing he's always been destined to do - be with his brother - and it can all be easy. He can forget the whole thing. Needing power, taking charge for himself. Why did he ever think he would want that? It's scary and hard and-

But that's not him. If it wasn't scary and hard it wouldn't be worth doing. Trying to break away from the leash every second of every minute of every hour of his life has just made him tired, that's all. He's allowed to have a moment of weakness every so often. Here, with Takatora, he's safe. Especially when it all stays silently within him.

"Take off your shirt," Takatora says, getting off of Micchi and off of the bed entirely. "I'll find a switch." 

Micchi freezes for a moment; he knows why there would be a switch in the house. It had belonged to their father. He himself had been too young to be on the receiving end of a beating, but niisan fairly often had-

Micchi had forgotten about that. 

When Takatora returns, his silhouette in the doorway, outlined by the light coming from the corridor, looks a lot like their father's always did. Micchi moves to get up; Takatora was always made to stand with feet apart and brace against a piece of furniture when he was caned. 

"Stay on the bed," Takatora orders. "I don't want you to fall and hurt yourself. Just turn over." 

Micchi takes one last glance at Takatora before lying on his stomach and turning his head to the side on the pillow. His brother comes to sit beside him for a moment, but says nothing, leaving it to Micchi to fill the silence. 

"...I was never caned," he says tentatively. "Weren't you upset about that?"

"Upset?" Takatora's face morphs into something unfamiliar, something Micchi comes to realise is a combination of horror and concern. "Of course not! I was relieved to save you from it. You were able to see all of my mistakes and avoid making them. That's how you were able to avoid a beating... But I see now that you had to be given a chance to make your own mistakes." Takatora raises the switch, and then stops. "Mitsuzane, I can't do this just because you want me to feel better. I can't punish you for something you haven't really done, as much as I appreciate the gesture." Micchi feels a hand slide into his hair and stroke it tenderly. "You're a good boy." 

"Niisan," he says, glad for the inability to look Takatora properly in the eyes right now, "you know that's not true. Nobody is perfect all the time. Maybe I haven't... haven't done _those_ things, but I definitely must have made mistakes, right? Everyone makes mistakes. You don't want to know what they are, so I won't tell you, but you should still punish me for them." 

"This seems important to you," Takatora notes. "Why?"

"Father loves us, right?" Micchi says. "You believe he loved you even when he was punishing you?"

"Of course."

"That's why," Micchi says. "Because you love me." 

Micchi isn't entirely sure that is in fact right, but he has driven Takatora into the corner necessary to get him to agree to this. He just wants to feel in _control_. If he is punished then he is absolved; he told his niisan the truth, but Takatora refused to listen. That won't be Micchi's fault, and so he can continue on with a clear conscience. 

Yggdrasill's plot must be exposed, destroyed.

"Once," Takatora says, and lets out a deep breath. He must have been fighting with himself to say it. "I'll do it once, and that will suffice, yes?"

It isn't really a question. Micchi buries his face in the pillow and nods. Every inch of him is aching for redemption, he can just about feel himself bursting from it.

"Don't tense up," Takatora says from above him. "It'll hurt more."

It happens so fast Micchi barely believes it truly did. But there is a sharp swatting across his back, a light sting, and the instant feel of his brother's arms around him, cradling him and turning him upright to face the ceiling. The sound of the switch being thrown to the floor echoes loudly in the room. 

"Never again," Takatora says through gritted teeth. Micchi realises the anger he's holding in is anger at himself, that the shakiness in his voice suggests he might even cry. "Never make me do that again, Mitsuzane."

"Niisan," Micchi says, the wonder evident in his voice, but Takatora is beyond noticing it. _This is it…_

He reaches up to touch Takatora's cheek and doesn't even have to ask his brother to 'take him to bed properly' before Takatora is leaning down to press soft kisses all over his face, stroking his skin, whispering to him over and over again, "Mitsuzane, my beautiful boy; you're perfect, you're perfect-"

_...he has control over his brother, and Takatora doesn't even know it._

-

**omake**

"If you think you've got this all under control you're underestimating those kids," DJ Sagara says. Thankfully Sid is unable to keep his mouth shut, allowing Ryoma to say nothing without arousing any suspicion. He does not underestimate the kids at all, but it's none of Sagara's business. For example, Kureshima Mitsuzane: Takatora's own precious younger brother, Beat Rider, and Kamen Rider Ryuugen. Ryoma does not underestimate him at all. He's been watching Mitsuzane very carefully.

He hadn't known at the time of installation that the cameras placed in the Kureshima household would be used for anything other than watching Takatora bathe or sleep in his bed (or _not_ sleep in his bed), but they've proven themselves useful far beyond that. Takatora willingly - eagerly - gives him a show during those late nights Ryoma spends alone in the lab, and he's even seen the Kureshima brothers in Takatora's bed together (Mitsuzane's bedroom has always been off-limits for surveilling by agreement, but if he comes to share his brother's bed Ryoma believes that implicit permission has been given), but last night was exceptional.

Last night, Kureshima Mitsuzane had confessed everything to his brother, the entire truth of himself, and had managed it so well that Takatora had believed it to be but a game. Takatora had been given everything he needed to conquer, and instead had given it all back to his brother, with _kisses_ on top.

Takatora must suspect Ryoma had seen it all, but he hasn't broached the subject, of course. And Ryoma would rather sit back and watch it play out to the fullest than clue the poor man in. Besides, he wouldn't be believed. Even from Mitsuzane's own mouth it hadn't been believed. Takatora will have to simply see Mitsuzane and his Sengoku Driver in action. 

"The kids still have the Sengoku Drivers you gave out," Sagara says, "do you think they'll just give up?" 

"It won't be a problem," Ryoma says with finality. It'll be a _gift_.

_I know your weakness._

"All disobedient kids need is a bit of discipline. Isn't that so, Takatora?" Ryoma asks with a smirk. 

_And now you know that I know._

-


End file.
